Tag Archives: physics

Three and a Half Variations on a Single Cork

cork_smt

He opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the success of his time machine. The cork flew through it to the previous month and knocked him cold. He opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the success of his universe machine. The cork flew through it to the previous universe and knocked him cold. He opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the success of his improbability machine. The cork flew through it to the previous probability and became a bistro and fell on him, and that was that. And in another time, in another universe, improbable as it was, he or someone just like him opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the success of his eventuality machine, but this time the cork didn’t fly anywhere, and he sat quietly and drank, wondering why he was suddenly feeling disappointed.

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The Warm Equations

Earth1

“This spacecraft doesn’t have enough brainpower to run both of us,” Notrab said.

“Sure it does,” I said. “It runs us now!”

“Yeah,” he said, “right now we’re in orbit around the planet, which means it’s running nothing but us. But in order to land, it’ll need its full capacity. Which leaves no room for you.”

“I don’t take much,” I said. “I’m fairly simple.”

“Oh, I know that,” Notrab said. “You should be really stupid, sneaking on to an invasion pod like that.”

“I thought it’d be fun!”

“I rest my case.”

“Fine,” I said, “so why not store me on a memory chip, then get me back online after we’ve landed?”

“I don’t carry memory chips,” Notrab said. “Sorry, kid.”

And that dialogue is everything that remained of the copy of myself which I smuggled into the Earth invasion fleet.

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